Sympathetic Joy

I have been thinking a lot about joy recently.

In particular, sympathetic joy (or Mudita). Sympathetic joy is the unadulterated happiness we feel when something good happens for someone else. It is one of the four Brahma Vihara meditation practices (heart practices).  

While it sounds admirable, there are times when it can be hard to feel sympathetic joy, especially when we are feeling unhappy with our own lives. There are many unpleasant emotions that can prevent us from sharing in other people’s joy: fear, jealousy, envy, stress, and resentment, among others.

The rewards of sympathetic joy

So why does it matter?

Several studies show that witnessing another’s good fortune can activate the brain’s reward system. Beyond just feeling good, the ability to feel sympathetic joy has been linked to greater life satisfaction, greater happiness, and increased willingness to help other people.

But other emotions, especially anxiety and envy, can block this natural inclination. For example, if a friend loses their job, your immediate reaction is likely concern and empathy. But if that same friend then gets a better job than the one you are stuck in and hate, your own feelings of envy or dissatisfaction can make it difficult for you to be happy for them.

Luckily, sympathetic joy is like a muscle that you can build up with mental exercise and practice.

Here are some exercises to help foster sympathetic joy:

Watch a competition without taking sides.

Appreciate the effort and skill of all competitors—and celebrate the joy of whoever wins. Feel glad for their success, and watch how they celebrate it with others. This practice helps you shift your focus from a win/lose outcome to appreciating the skill and effort involved, allowing you to genuinely celebrate the winner's joy.

Capitalize on positive events. 

When people close to us tell us about positive things that have happened to them, these moments have the potential to make us feel closer to one another, depending on how we respond.

As they share, listen and try to respond in an active manner:

• Make good eye contact.

• Express positive emotion by smiling.

• Make enthusiastic comments.

• Ask open-ended questions to find out more about the event. By doing this, you not only share in their joy but also deepen your connection with them.

  
  

Move past envy

Recognizing and acknowledging envy is the first step. Once you acknowledge that envy is present, then you can move past it with compassion. In also helps to practice gratitude by counting your own blessings.

Practice self compassion*

Feeling more compassion for yourself can help open the door to feeling joy for the good things in the lives of other people.

Try loving-kindness meditation**

This meditation increases happiness in part by making you feel more connected to others—to loved ones, acquaintances, and even strangers.

Final Thoughts:

The more we practice something, the better we get at it. If we practice turning our attention towards happiness, then that becomes our habit. By being mindful and savoring all of the joyful moments, of others as well as our own, we help consolidate our memory for positive events.

May you all have more joy,

April

*https://www.mindful.org/the-transformative-effects-of-mindful-self-compassion/

**https://www.mindful.org/loving-kindness-meditation-with-sharon-salzberg/